If sadness, worry, anger, or withdrawal in your teen or young adult lasts two weeks or more, or it gets in the way of school, friendships, or daily life, it is time to talk to a professional. You do not need to wait for a crisis. Early help works better, and it is easier to start sooner.
You may be thinking, “Isn’t this just what teenagers do?” Moodiness is normal. Hormones, school, friends, and the future make adolescence hard. This guide helps you tell the difference between a rough patch and a problem that needs treatment, and it shows you how to take the first step.
If your teen talks about hurting themselves or ending their life, call or text 988, or call 911. Do not wait.
Normal ups and downs, or something more?
Ask three questions:
- How long? A bad week is normal. Symptoms that last two weeks or more deserve attention.
- How severe? Does it affect grades, friendships, sleep, or daily routines?
- Is it a change? Compare your teen to how they usually act. You know them best.
Cyndi Marquez, one of our therapists, describes the difference between feeling down and depression this way: sadness comes and goes. Depression lasts, and it affects daily functioning more than sadness does. Trust your gut. An uneasy feeling that something is off is a good reason to ask an expert.
Eight signs your teen or young adult may need therapy
1. Changes in mood
Ongoing sadness, hopelessness, worry, or irritability. Cyndi notes that depression in teens often looks like anger or irritability in place of sadness. Jami Aitken, our Director of Clinical Services, adds that teens with anxiety often show mood swings instead of saying “I feel anxious.”
2. Pulling away
Withdrawing from family, skipping time with friends, or spending much more time alone.
3. Losing interest
Dropping sports, hobbies, or activities that they used to love.
4. Changes in sleep or eating
Sleeping much more or much less, or a clear shift in appetite or weight.
5. Falling grades or trouble focusing
A drop in school performance, missed assignments, or trouble concentrating. These can signal more than a lack of motivation. For related guidance, see our post on how to motivate a teenager who doesn’t care.
6. Low confidence and harsh self-talk
Statements such as “I’m worthless” or “I’m not good enough,” or a sudden need for constant reassurance.
7. Physical complaints with no clear cause
Frequent headaches or stomachaches, or refusing school because they “feel sick.” Stress often shows up in the body first.
8. Risky or self-harming behavior
Using alcohol or drugs, running away, self-injury, or talk about death or suicide. Treat these as urgent. Read our guide to teen suicide prevention.
How common is teen depression?
Nearly 1 in 5 adolescents ages 12 to 19 reported depression in 2021 to 2023, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The rate in 2013 to 2014 was 8.2%. Depression and anxiety are medical conditions, and teens do not choose them. They respond to treatment.
Why teens and young adults struggle
Depression is not a reflection of your parenting or of the life you provide. Several factors work together:
- Family history. Mental health conditions run in families, as many physical conditions do.
- Trauma or abuse. Painful experiences can change how the brain handles stress.
- Low self-esteem. Peer pressure, social media, and comparison can make teens feel they are not enough.
- Big changes. A move, divorce, loss, or new school adds stress.
- Pressure to perform. School, sports, and college expectations weigh heavily.
No single cause explains it. Our free ebook explains more.
Teens and young adults: what differs?
- Teens (ages 12 to 17) often show distress through behavior: anger, school refusal, mood swings, or withdrawal. Parents usually stay involved in care.
- Young adults (ages 18 to 25) face new pressures: college, work, money, relationships, and independence. They choose their own care, and a parent can encourage and support. Our guide on counseling for young adults covers this stage.
How to bring it up with your teen
- Pick a calm moment. Car rides and walks often work well.
- Start with what you have noticed. “I’ve noticed you seem more tired and down lately. How are you feeling?”
- Listen first. Skip the lecture. Reflect what you hear.
- Frame therapy as support. “A therapist can give you tools and a space that is only yours.”
- Offer choices. Let your teen help pick the therapist, the time, or the setting.
- Expect pushback. Many teens resist at first. Stay calm, and revisit the conversation.
How to get started
- Book a consultation. At Dayrise, a care coordinator listens to your concerns and answers questions.
- Get matched. We match your teen or young adult with a licensed therapist who fits their needs and personality.
- Attend the first session. The therapist builds trust, learns your teen’s story, and sets goals together.
- Follow the plan. Therapy often includes CBT, DBT, or other evidence-based approaches, with updates for parents.
You can also start with your teen’s pediatrician or school counselor. Pediatricians can screen for depression, anxiety, and suicide risk. Our guide on how therapy can help your teenager explains the types of therapy we offer.
Frequently asked questions
At what age should a teen start therapy?
There is no set age. Therapy can help whenever symptoms affect daily life. Dayrise works with teens and young adults.
What if my teen refuses to go?
Keep the door open. Ask what worries them about therapy, offer a first visit with no commitment, and let them help choose the therapist. Many teens warm up after a few sessions.
How long does therapy take?
It depends on the person. Cyndi explains that symptoms, severity, and support at home differ for everyone. Your therapist will talk through goals and timing with you.
Do I have to wait for a diagnosis?
No. You do not need a diagnosis to start therapy. A therapist can assess what is going on.
Will therapy stay confidential?
Therapy gives teens a private space. Therapists share information with parents when safety is at risk, and they work with you on what to share otherwise.
Get help for your teen or young adult
Not every mental health provider specializes in teens and young adults. Dayrise Wellness does. We see clients at our Lombard and Naperville offices, and we are in-network with BlueCross BlueShield PPO, United Healthcare PPO, and Aetna PPO. We focus on what is possible for your child.